Three for a Drink
by Maxforce
Summary: Just something that came into my head. One shot. Enjoy inside. Rated T for a bit of language.


**Hi there. I'm sure that some of you who read this may have read my first one shot. Well, just like the first, this one was just thought up randomly. I thought it was kind of interesting. Maybe you will too. Hope you like.**

**Three for a Drink**

"Hello, how may I help you," a female Twi'lek asked the Zabrak.

"Yes, hello operator. Would you please connect me to…," Darth Maul stopped at this point. "I'm sorry, my dear, hang on a second." He took a case from his robe and opened it to reveal a pair of reading glasses. He took out a scrap of flimsi and put it close to his eyes, squinting. "Ah, yes. Would you please connect me to one Obi-Wan Kenobi?"

"Please hold," she said, disappearing from the holostream for a second and replaced by an old man.

"Yes, hello," the old man said.

"Ah, is this the number of an Obi-Wan Kenobi?"

"This is him. Do I know you?"

"Yes. You should. You see, I'm Darth Maul."

"Darth who?"

"Darth Maul…you know, about…hang on, don't help me…," He mumbled under his breath a bit, "Add the three, carry the one…," and finally completed his statement. "About thirty two years back. Somewhere in that time period."

"…Hmmmm…I'm sorry, but I still can't think of anyone with that name."

"Sure you do. We met while you were with that…shit, what was his name? Ummm…Quack Egg John? No…oh wait, maybe it was Crack Head Ben…"

"Oh, you mean Qui-Gonn Jin. You knew my master?"

"Well, sorta. I was the one who killed him."

"Ah, so tha…wait a second, how the fuck can you be alive? I cut you in half and saw you fall down that bottomless shaft."

"Actually, it wasn't bottomless. Maybe fifty to sixty feet. They just had sucky lighting. Ya know, in hindsight, calling it a bottomless shaft was just pure stupidity."

"Yeah, yeah. But still, I cut you in two fucking pieces."

"True, but I can be pretty stubborn."

"Oh. So, why are you calling?"

"Well, ya know, to catch up. And to have my revenge. So, where are you?"

"Oh. Tatooine, near Mos Eisley Spaceport."

"…WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING ON TATOOINE?!" Darth Maul was getting some strange looks after this outburst and he decided to turn on the privacy field.

"I'm hiding from the Empire."

"Oh. Yeah, what the hell is that?"

"Ummm…just out of curiosity, how long have you been out of that shaft?"

"Oh, I don't know…maybe six years."

"Wow. So, you don't even know about the Clone Wars, the Jedi Purge, or any of that."

"Nope."

"Well, tell ya what. You come here tomorrow and go to the Mos Eisley cantina. Ask around for Crazy Old Ben. That's what they call me. No, wait. Better yet, you just meet me in the cantina. I'll be the only one in brown robes sitting by myself."

"Ok. But I'm still gonna fight you."

"Oh, I get it. I mean, I got revenge on you for killing my master, you want revenge for me slicing you in half. Don't worry, perfectly understandable."

"Well, ok then. I guess I'll meet you tomorrow."

The next standard day…

"So, that pretty much brings you up to date on the Wars," Obi-Wan finished saying.

"Wow," Maul said. "I can't believe I missed so much. Hard to believe that the entire thing was that fucking Sidious's fault."

"Yeah, he is a real fucker, isn't he?" Obi-Wan took another drink from his bottle. "So, now onto the little battles that happened just before the Purge."

"Perhaps I should join you in this," a man in a cloak said, walking up to them. "It's been a while, Obi-Wan."

"Do I know you?"

"You should," the figure said, pulling back the hood to reveal an aged Mace Windu. "Considering we used to be on the council together."

"Master Windu?! I thought you were dead. Last I heard, Anakin knocked you out of the window of Palpatine's office."

"Yes, well, lucky for me, I landed in a truck full of mattresses."

Maul and Obi-Wan looked at him with disbelieving looks. "You're kidding right," Maul asked. "I mean, that only happens in movies and cartoons."

"Yeah, well, that's how I lived. So, about those battles."

"Oh, right, right. Now, as I said, this idiot here," Obi- Wan said, pointing at Mace.

"Watch it."

"Anyways, he got pushed out a window by Anakin."

"Wait, Anakin was the little runt with you and Jinn, right," Maul asked, beckoning at the server droid for another bottle for Mace and refills for him and Obi-Wan.

"Yep. Oh, then there was the battle between me and Anakin."

"Wait, you guys had a fight?"

"That's right."

"Wow. He was that far gone?"

"Well…no. I just wanted my CDs and Holocubes back, seeing as how he had become a Sith and all. And after I try to talk to him, what does he do? He chokes Padme and then pulls a lightsaber on me. I mean, of all the fucking ungrateful things he's done, it was the absolute worst, dammit."

"So, why are you here?"

Obi-Wan looked around and then leaned forward, beckoning the two to come closer. "Now, you can't tell anyone about this. I'm protecting Anakin's son, Luke."

"HE HAD A SON?!" Both Maul and Mace jumped out of their seats, drawing looks from the other patrons.

"Shhhh…keep it down. This can't get out. Now then, when the time comes, I'm gonna have to train the kid, and Force help us if Vader finds out that he has a son and a daughter who are just as strong in the Force as he is."

"HE HAS A DAUGHTER TOO?!" Once more, they jumped up and once more, the other patrons looked at all of them.

"Would you idiots keep quiet? I mean, what the hell is wrong with you? If this gets out, anyone tied to me is fucked. Now then, if Palpatine finds out, then the entire universe is fucked."

"Say, what did happen to that old geezer," Maul asked.

"He's the Emperor now."

"What the fuck?! No, wait, let me guess. He was Sidious?"

"Yep. He manipulated everything, from the war all the way up to Anakin becoming Darth Vader. Which only happened due to Padme dying after her children were born."

"But come on. If he let her go in mid choke, she should have been ok."

"Well, according to both the equipment _and_ the doctors, she was in perfect physical health. But she let go of her will to live."

"Wow. I kinda of wanna call her a bitch, but it's just as much Anakin's fault for breaking her heart. I can't believe how much I've missed."

"You said it," Mace said. "I can't believe that you kept all of this secret."

"Hey, I didn't know until the fight," Obi-Wan said. "Anyways, it was fun talking with you two. Now, where do you wanna fight, Maul?"

"Actually…I don't. After this two or three hours with you guys…well, I realized that we'll all croak any time now. And I enjoy talking with two guys near my age."

"Well, that takes a load offa me. How about we meet up again tomorrow?"

"I don't know," Maul said. "I don't have a place to stay."

"Nor do I," Mace said.

"Well…I suppose I could help you guys find apartments or we could make you some huts of your own," Obi-Wan said, leaning back to think.

"I don't see why not. I say we do it. Meet up a couple times a week."

"Agreed," Maul said. They agreed to meet up at least once a week and left, returning the next day for more drinks and to swap stories.

**Well, I hope it was somewhat enjoyable.**


End file.
